Sometimes it's the little things......

It's easy for me to get lost in my own world. The good and the bad. Yesterday I was reminded of the  blessings I'm lucky enough to be a part of.  I'm coming to the end of my second year as a Teacher's Aide and while I am ready for summer I am sad to have another year come to an end.  I'm fortunate to not only have a wonderful job and amazing co-workers, I also get to see glimpses of my own kids at school.  Central Wisconsin Christian has blessed my own life in so many ways.  Walking down the halls and connecting with students in simple ways like a smile and a hello, a quick little hug or a blurted out I love you from the cutest little ones, a high five or a tale of their latest adventures (something to me may seem simple but to them is the best thing EVER),  and deeper still the Bible stories told that are taught by the teacher to wide-eyed listeners, the devotion read in our teachers meetings that amazingly always seems to connect in some way to what's going on in my own life, the uplifting praise and worship during the whole school chapels. These little things.

In addition to my wonderful work community, I also am fortunate to be a part of our local GEMS group. Awesome ladies to work with that I have made great friendships with.  I feel like I'm still a newbie to this great group and when my daughter and I both joined I had no idea the beautiful changes it could bring to our lives. (I'll have to share more on the beautiful change it made in my own daughters life later)  Connecting to these girls and watching them grow in their relationships with Christ can leave me breathless.  I watched this group last night at our last meeting for the year and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. Watching them sing, dance, and have fun as they brought glory to their Lord and Savior was an inspiring sight.  These little things. 

It's these little things that can mean so much to me. These little things that wake me up to what's truly important. These little things that make me realize how simple life can be. I make it too hard, I make it more about me and less about HIM.  If I could live life through the eyes of a child how much simpler things would be.  Stare in wonder and amazement at the beauty of the works of an AWESOME GOD. Sing simply praises to him and let go of the worry and the pain.  As Ann VosKamp writes in her book One Thousand Gifts; "To fully live-to live full of grace and joy and all that is beauty eternal.  It is possible, wildly."  

There Has To Be Something Better

I'm somewhat at a loss about what I would like to share in this post.  I'm at a "weird" place in my life and have decided in an attempt to get past this "phase" in my life I need to write about it.  My hope is that I can share what I've gone through/am stilling going through,  try to connect, and maybe even help others who may be at a similar place in their life. I want to be honest and share the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Where we are now and not just the cleaned up version. It's easy to share the good things, the things that make me feel like the fun mom.  Let's be honest- I will be sharing those things as well, because they seldom happen lately and for two other reasons: 1. I need to celebrate the fact that it happened 2. I need documented proof so someday when my kids are grown up I can show them; "see mom really did fun stuff with you"! :) 

So diving right in......mess into my message.....here we go.....

Event that rocked my world turned my scatter-brained all over the place life into an even more scatter-brained, all over the place, crabby 99% of the day, depressed, over-eating, lazy, procrastinating mess!  Honest- it's not only scary but sad. Even my issues have issues!  If you're anything like me right now it's hard to get out of bed, it's hard to face the everyday mess staring me in the face. I'm unhappy, I feel irritated by everything, and I yell! My poor family gets the worst of me! About the only time I'm in a wonderful mood is when I'm at work, and thankfully I have an awesome job! Someone please sign me up for a wake up call, I need to get out of this funk!!  This is not the me I want to be, the wife my husband longs for, or the mom my kids deserve!  Years ago I may have been a mess, but I was a happier, fun mess! I'm not entirely ready to share every detail of what happened but what I can share is that I do believe there is still a greater plan that God has in store for my family and I. A plan that isn't perfect but a plan that brings glory to him.  I have to be honest with myself and realize this isn't going to be easy and it may hurt a little.....but I have to change this or I will end up looking back at my life with more regrets than joys and I do not want that! Here's to a life with more happiness!  More smiles, laughter, and just plain more fun! 

Who do you have in your corner?

I'm not proud to admit this but my personal time with the Lord has gotten to be, for lack of a better term, dull. I've always felt that if I just put my trust in Him that everything else would fall into place, however, if I don't take the time for Him and listen for his voice I often get in my own way. The AWESOME thing is He's always there, he won't turn his back on me regardless of the mess I may make of my life trying to forge my own way. He's got my back, He's in my corner, ALWAYS!  Hebrews 13:5b say "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Isn't that a comforting thought?

I'm a work in progress, always will be, God will always be at work in me until the day I take my last breath. So for now I take comfort in the fact that I can "work" on spending more time with him and listening for his voice. I have this great devotional book call God's Purpose for Every Woman by Lysa Terkeurst. I like to just open it up randomly, and absolutely love that no matter what page I turn to it's like "here Kari I wrote this just for you!" Love that feeling.

Open my ears Lord, help me to listen....

Finding Joy in The Journey

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Psalm 51:12

What happened to my JOY? From my childhood, to my teens and in to my late 20's I can remember feeling quite happy, satisfied and yes even joyous about life. As I've gotten older, taken on more responsibilities, and gone through some pretty major life altering events I've begun to feel the joy being sucked out of me.  At times feeling unhappy and just plain ready to throw in the towel.  Or as in the words of my recent devotional (and the reason why I am writing this to begin with) my tank has run dry! This is not to say that I have no reasons to be happy or that my life is so miserable that I can't face the world anymore, no I'm afraid it's that I have lost sight of whats truly important! It's not the overwhelming mess piling up on my countertops, it's not the Mount Westover pile of laundry blocking a clear path thru the laundry room, it's not the 3000 emails, or the never ending list of things I NEED to get too ASAP, no my friends it's the joy I get to see when I watch my children laugh and play, when I take the time to sit down with them and engage and savor every minute, or the swelling of pride in my heart when I see Christ growing in there hearts and minds. The sad fact is I've become too involved in my problems, or what I can't get done, what I haven't yet accomplished, the fact that I am not Susie Homemaker or "I have a plan" Paula!  It's hard to admit that I may never be the person I WANT to be, but the important thing is, it's ok, as long as I am the me that God calls me to be! 

So here begins my Journey!  As I approach an upcoming birthday (WooHoo another year older) I realize that now is as good of time as any to start my Journey to a life with purpose, laughter, contentment, and most importantly JOY!  Watch out world!

Frozen Yogurt Bites

The word NO seems to be a large part of my vocabulary lately. Mason: "Mom can I have a fruit roll up for breakfast" Me: "No" Eli: "Mom, can I be ungrounded and play the Wii" Me: "NO" With out intending to I feel as though the word NO is almost an immediate response to some of the things my kids ask of me. The truth is my life can be somewhat of a chaotic mess. I  tell myself I'll take more time to do things with the kids when I get organized and the house is ALWAYS clean. The thing is the mess will always be there to take care of, but the moments I spend with my kids watching them play will be gone in what seems like a snap of my fingers. Anyway, before I get any more sappy my point is I need to learn to lighten up, let go of my expectations for myself a little and learn to say YES! So the other day when Emma asked if we could make frozen yogurt bites again I figured what the heck, I even gave up the right to do it myself and let them have full control. It's these little things that I hope they remember some day.

If you've never made these before they are SO easy and seem to be a big hit with kids (at least mine anyway). Use any of your flavored yogurt and spoon it into a ziploc bag and snip off a tip, make it small otherwise it comes out in huge globs. To make it even easier you can use gogurts and not have to mess with the ziploc. Squeeze onto a cookie sheet, place in the freezer (maybe 20-30 minutes), pop them out and ENJOY. Eat fast they melt quickly especially on a hot day.  Yes, I got this lovely idea from Pinterest!

Recycled play

So I ♥ Pinterest and it's plethora of wonderful ideas. (Yes I said plethora, hey it's my blog and I can!)  Free and easy and I'm so on top of that! Just a simple empty laundry soap container and we had a good 20 minutes of fun. We even cut it short because Daddy came home and wanted to play baseball. Can't wait to get it out again and let them play.

OH SNAP!

Snap Happy. Having a bit of fun with my new toy and some photo editing. I'm no professional, but still a lot of fun.