Tuesday, April 1, 2014

There Has To Be Something Better

I'm somewhat at a loss about what I would like to share in this post.  I'm at a "weird" place in my life and have decided in an attempt to get past this "phase" in my life I need to write about it.  My hope is that I can share what I've gone through/am stilling going through,  try to connect, and maybe even help others who may be at a similar place in their life. I want to be honest and share the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Where we are now and not just the cleaned up version. It's easy to share the good things, the things that make me feel like the fun mom.  Let's be honest- I will be sharing those things as well, because they seldom happen lately and for two other reasons: 1. I need to celebrate the fact that it happened 2. I need documented proof so someday when my kids are grown up I can show them; "see mom really did fun stuff with you"! :) 

So diving right in......mess into my message.....here we go.....

Event that rocked my world turned my scatter-brained all over the place life into an even more scatter-brained, all over the place, crabby 99% of the day, depressed, over-eating, lazy, procrastinating mess!  Honest- it's not only scary but sad. Even my issues have issues!  If you're anything like me right now it's hard to get out of bed, it's hard to face the everyday mess staring me in the face. I'm unhappy, I feel irritated by everything, and I yell! My poor family gets the worst of me! About the only time I'm in a wonderful mood is when I'm at work, and thankfully I have an awesome job! Someone please sign me up for a wake up call, I need to get out of this funk!!  This is not the me I want to be, the wife my husband longs for, or the mom my kids deserve!  Years ago I may have been a mess, but I was a happier, fun mess! I'm not entirely ready to share every detail of what happened but what I can share is that I do believe there is still a greater plan that God has in store for my family and I. A plan that isn't perfect but a plan that brings glory to him.  I have to be honest with myself and realize this isn't going to be easy and it may hurt a little.....but I have to change this or I will end up looking back at my life with more regrets than joys and I do not want that! Here's to a life with more happiness!  More smiles, laughter, and just plain more fun! 

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